The Process Continues......

Friday we met,via phone with the Pediatrician. Dr Mason is a doctor who specializes in International Adoption in Fairfax, Virginia. He reviewed all the medical paperwork and pictures we sent him and can not find any medical reason why we should not accept this referral (like we would even consider not accepting it after seeing his pictures). Our little guy ranks in the 95th percentile for weight and height and the 75th percentile for head circumference.

We would really like to be able to post more information about him (sorry, we haven't landed on a name yet) and pictures; however we have been ask not post information on the blog or Facebook from our Agency. We hope that everyone understands this; one of our neighbors said it best; she and her husband have 3 beautiful children from Korea and have been "in our shoes". She told us "this is his story and someday when he is 8 or 9 or older, he will come to understand it is his information, and the only information he has on his birth family. Please consider who you share his information with, or whether to share it at all. Anyone you share it with will know your son's story before he knows his own, so keep it close."

Hearing this from someone who has been thru this process not once, but three times really drove the point home; we now have to consider the feelings of someone other than ourselves, I suppose this is something that comes with parenthood. Thank you for the words of advice; you really helped us to understand the possible long term effects to a short term objective.

We are so gratefully for everyones well wishes and your excitement for us in our new adventure; we will certainly post whatever info we feel is appropriate as we continue our journey.

A Big Step Closer - Referral is in!

So I just so happened to be home early this afternoon because I had a doctors appointment and at 4:53 the phone rang and the caller ID flashed a number that was simply listed as North Carolina. My heart skipped a beat, I took a deep breathe and answered the phone. From the other end I heard "John? Do you have a minute?" I heard our social worker say "we have a referral for you". As she went over the particulars she pretty much sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher to me. I did manage to remember the important things like, it's a boy, he's 5 months old and his birthday is 5 days before mine in July. As it turns out our Social Worker had tried to call Paige at work but she was not at her desk and she missed the call. When she saw the missed call on her phone she didn't know what to do. Within minutes I was on the phone to her; she said "Did they call you? What did they want" Oh not much really.... just wanted to chat..... WE HAVE A REFERRAL!!!

We were immediately sent an "E-Packet" with some family history, medical history of our little guy and of course PICTURES. He is adorable, a chubby little guy, just so cute!! We are very early in the referral process; until things are more definite they really don't want us to post too many details or to share too many personal details of the child and his birth family. All of this is so new it just doesn't feel real yet. As the reality of us actually being parents sinks in we will of course share more info as we learn more. We want thank everyone for all of their well wishes over the past 8 months and 27 days that was our referral wait!

8 Months Next Week

Hi Everyone,

Well; since my last post not much has changed. Paige and I got a long weekend away to New York City a few weekends ago. The weather was so-so, on-and-off rain but we had a great time. We had dinner with a friend of mine from childhood whom I had not seen in over 20 years. She has lived in NYC for sometime and we picked up right where we left off and she and Paige got along famously! We also had dinner with some friends of mine from the vendor community that Saturday night; another fun night. We spent Sunday with Paige's best friend from childhood Michelle and her husband Toph. Brunch at 2:00 p.m. and them we spent the rest of the day going bar-to-bar in their neighborhood watching football.

Paige left for home on Monday and I stayed behind for a week of buy meetings. I figured this would be what it would take to provoke the gods to send us our referral since I was out of town. I wasn't completely off base; we were contacted by the agency about some medical paper work; basically a list of medical conditions we would accept. At the beginning of the process we filled out this same list and we were told that the conditions we initially choose are not conditions any children are currently becoming available with and that we would need to re-do our paperwork. We choose conditions like low birth weight, family history of drug or alcohol issues, diabetes and a few others. Well the following week Paige read on one of the adoption boards that another couple in the program who had to re-do the same paperwork at the same time had received their referral!! Hopefully this means ours is coming really soon!!

On another subject; my healing process is moving along. The doctor seems happy with the progress I've made over the past month. I will have another CT Scan the beginning of December to get a 3-D image of the break to see just how well I am doing. Hopefully it will be the last time; next Tuesday (November 1oth) will be 6 months since I broke my hip and it is also Paige's birthday; number 29 again?........

I feel fine and walk with only a slight limp at this point. I'm still using a cane at the Doctor's request to help the joint heal without full pressure on the joint. All is good though.

The past week has also been a little nerve racking. We were told at work that our division would be restructuring. Our jobs will be the same for up to a year, after that my job will move to Seattle. The fact that I have 4 counterparts around the country doing the same job and there will only be one position is a little scary to me. We're told everyone will still have a job, just a different job and it will be in Seattle. There is no structure as of yet, time will tell and Paige and I will have some serious thinking to do about my career path. I'm reserving judgment/decision making until all the pieces fall into place. Things like this always happen for a reason.

Hopefully our referral is on it's way; wouldn't it be a great Thanksgiving present and a terrific way to start off the holiday season!!

Until next time - John

Still month 7 and waiting......

Well; like Paige said we are still waiting. She heard yesterday that another couple in the FCA Korea program whose paperwork went over 7 months ago received their referral this week. Hopefully this means ours is soon to come. I have a feeling if it is going to happen it will happen next week; mostly because of Murphy's Law since I will be in New York on business all week. If this is the case oh well; we'll take it whenever it comes!

It's hard to believe the summer is already over; as most of you already know I broke my hip in May and was home until the 1st of August. It was the 1st summer in 12 years I had off. Even though I was injured it was a great summer. Lots of time at the pool; thank you Lospresti family for bringing me along when I could not drive, a few concerts, 2-U (a U2 tribute band), Junk Food & Paul McCartney. Paige had a trip planned to NY in June before I broke my hip and wouldn't go unless someone stayed with me so my parents came from Connecticut to "babysit" me for the weekend. She deserved the time away; to take her mind off the wait for a few days and from waiting on me.

In July I turned 40 and Paige pulled off a surprise dinner; she also surprised me with my parents and my Aunt Barbara & Uncle David from Connecticut. Our friends Ken & Stephanie Reynolds hosted the dinner at their place out in Round Hill, Virginia. They have a great old farmhouse from the late 1760's and it was a beautiful night to have dinner on the patio with such a great close group of friends.

At the end of July I was feeling really good and the doctor gave me the all clear to go back to work the 1st of August. I was able to get back into the grove pretty quickly and I thankfully have two great assistants and an office manager who kept things running smoothly while I was gone. I even traveled to Seattle a week after I returned; I wont lie; it did take a little out of me. The weekend I got back my cousin Elizabeth from Victoria, British Columbia came to visit. It had been a couple of years since we had seen each other; we all took a White House tour and saw some of the monuments. We had a really nice visit. With any luck we'll be able to make it to Old Home week next August in New Brunswick for the Ross Family Reunion with our "little one" and see Elizabeth and everyone else then.

By mid August I started to experience some pain; I had an appointment with the Orthopedic at the end of the month so I waited. Well; as it turns out I had something called "delayed union" or in plain terms - I stopped healing. They don't know why it happens, it just does sometimes. I now have to use a bone growth stimulator to help get the break to heal. At my month follow-up appointment in September the doctor was very please with the newest x-ray and said I am back on track. I am feeling much better now and almost have no limp when I walk.

For the Columbus Day weekend Paige's mom & dad (MIL & FIL) came to visit with our niece's Caitlin & Keira. We had a great weekend with them all and it gave us a glimpse of things to come, It really was fun.

Paige and I are going to NYC this weekend to celebrate our 6th Anniversary (was actually in September) and our possible last trip as a childless couple. We're going to have dinner with a friend of mind from childhood whom I have not seen in over 20 years on Friday, on Saturday we're having dinner with Paige's best friend Michelle and her husband and some other friends of ours and then on Sunday my parents and sister-in-law Dana are going to take the train into NY with our nephews Jimmy & Kyle. The boys have never been to the city before and they are really excited to come meet us, we cant wait either.

Like I said earlier; I stay in NY for the week for market so hopefully that is what it will take to provoke the Gods into sending us our referral. Please, please, please send us our referral; we've been very patient, we've taken each step along the way in stride. I think it's our turn begin a family. Keep your fingers crossed for us and we'll keep you posted.

Still Waiting, and waiting and waiting......

We are almost at 7 months now. When we first started the process the average wait time was 5-7 months, but over the past few months the wait has increased to 7-9 months. So here we are at 7 months and very ready for the phone to ring already. Though this summer went pretty quickly since there were so many things to do, pool time, John's 40th Birthday, Paige's trip to NYC, but now its like time is standing still. Its been a little bit more difficult to deal with lately, when they warned you about the ups and downs of this process they were not kidding.

One of the coordinators recently was in Korea for a week, just got back yesterday and we are anxiously waiting for an update. Maybe she'll have referrals and maybe she'll just say how great the staff is over there. No one knows right now but I am just ready to know what's going on over there.

So that's it for now, nothing much to report.

I hope everyone had a great summer and those with kids are settle back in to the routines now that school is back.

Nothing yet to report

well our paperwork has been over for 4 months and 6 days now but who's counting right. the waiting hasn't been too bad yet. After all we have been a little bit pre-occupied with John breaking his hip in early May. For those of you who haven't heard, John was washing the cars in the driveway on May 10 and slipped and more or less did a spilt. Once he was able to breath again from the fall he yelled for me to come outside. Luckily we had the windows open that day and i was able to hear him. After getting him up (sort of) and in the car on to the ER we went. We arrived at approx 3:00 around 6:30 after he had had x-rays and a cat scan to see what the damage was the doctor asked him when his last meal was. NEVER a good sign when you are in the ER, we knew immediately what that meant, Surgery. Turns out when he fell he pop his left hip out of of socket and broke the femoral head. He finally went into surgery around 11:00 pm and got out around 12:30. Hip back in place and 3 pins to hold it together he finally was in a hospital room around 2:30. So obviously not your average 39 year old breaks their hip like that. He had been having problem with his hip are for about a month, his doctor was treating it for soft tissue damage. What the doctors have concluded is that he actually had a small stress fracture probably from running on treadmill at the gym and when he fell the bone was so weak that it pulled out and broke.

John has been home ever since. Its been just over 9 weeks now and he, to say the least is going a bit stir crazy. He can't work until he is 100% weight bearing on his leg. He started PT 2 weeks ago and it is going well. We saw the doctor today and he wants to keep him out 2 more weeks, so our next appointment is July 29. It looks like he'll be out 12 weeks total.

So with all this going on we have been pretty pre-occupied. Which isn't so much of a bad thing when the time has gone by so quickly.

Hopefully the wait wont be too much longer. They expected 6 months so that could mean we are only 2.75 months away now. That's nothing. I think the hardest part is going to be after we get the referral and we have to wait to travel to go get the baby.

Paperwork Recieved!!

We received word last night that our packet was sent to Korea on March 9th; a whole month went by before we found out. When they said "hurry up and wait" they meant it. They are telling us to expect a referral within 6 mos. of the packet being sent; since a month has already gone by we are now looking at September; and they say once we accept the referral it is approximately another 3-4 mos. until we can travel to pick-up our child. From what Paige has seen on the message boards and adoption discussion groups she belongs to on line it can happen a lot sooner than this but we plan on the far side so we're not "climbing the walls" waiting.



In the meantime; we are reading some of the books they recommend on Korean adoption, we have attended an adoption seminar and spent a great afternoon this past Sunday (4/5) at our friends Jaime and Steve Bae's for a Korean Baby Shower for Jaime. The Korean food Jaime's sister made was unbelievable only outdone by the amount there was of it! The number of family members who were there was incredible and they all made us feel so welcome just as they did 3 years ago for Jaime & Steve's wedding.



Well; that's the update for now. We will let you know more just as soon as we do. - John

In March.....

so we found out at the end of last week that our program packet will be going over to Korea in March.  This means that 5-7 months after that we'll get our referral.  It all seems so real again.  John thinks we'll get our referral early,  I am thinking the longest time so if it comes early that it will be that much better.  

So I have this application on my phone where i get a new Korean word to learn everyday.  And the day after we found out when the packet would be going over my word of the day was daughter, maybe its a sign.......

hopefully by the end of the summer we'll know what we are having!!!!  

Program Packet and I-600

Well we finally finished our program packet.  paperwork wise it was easy, just a few forms to read and sign.  A medical checklist of possible conditions we will or will not accept for our future child.  the one thing that was holding us back was the classes we have to take.  as mentioned before we need 30 education credits before our adoption can be complete.  one of the classes we had to take was called With Eyes Wide Open.  It touches on all aspect of international adoption and what it might be like for the parents and the child from the time we come home all they way up to teenage years.  it goes over questions we'll hear out in public b/c we wont look alike, to questions or child will probably ask us someday, like why Korea, why me?  well it was 19 PowerPoint Presentations with about 25 different written assignment to go along with it.  but we got it done, it was a little bit time consuming but i know it will be well worth it in the end.  so i finally sent it off today to our program coordinator in NC.  She had been pushing us for the last couple of weeks to complete it because the agency in CT which sends the packets to Korea once a month was pushing her.  Anyway, i hope all of this means that our number is up and our packet will be going over to Korea soon!!!!!!  Hopefully I'll know by the end of the week when they expect our packet to go over. 

The program packet is really the last step until we get our referral for our baby! 

We also received our I-600 approval from the CIS, i have passed this information on to our agency and i believe it will be included in our program packet.  

so that's it for now.  like i said above hopefully I'll have more information by the end of the week.