1st Post Placement Visit Done, 2 to Go

Last week we had our 1st post placement visit with our social worker. She met with us for close to an hour. She wanted to know how we were all adjusting and what we feel is working in our routine and what we feel is not. With one visit behind us we now have two more to go over the next 5 month. Here in Virginia the adoption is not final until 6 months after we return home and have 3 visits from our social worker and they say we are fit parents and the child is happy. Once all that is approved we can go to court and "re-adopt" here in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Once we are able to complete the process we can move on with our lives as a family. We have a lot going on, I have mentioned before in a previous post that my job as I know it will not exist in the very near future, if I want to stay with the company, on the merchant side of the business we will have to relocate to Seattle. Until the re-adoption is final we can not completely move, that is if a job offer comes my way in the new structure.

Last Saturday we attended an Asian Cultural Event in Bethesda, Maryland. It was a Dol celebration for two little boys who are cousins. They graciously invited adopted families to come experience the 1st Birthday Celebration (Dol). It was a great experience and the food was terrific. Later in the day we also attended the 7th birthday party for our friends Andrew and Michelle's son Dylan. It was an Indiana Jones themed party, Andrew created a snake pit in the back yard and hid a treasure for the kids to find. They all had a great time.

Next weekend we are going to head home to Connecticut so Carter can meet the rest of the family. He has already met his grandparents from both sides but he has yet to be introduced to his Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and Great Aunts & Great Uncles and a host of family friends from both sides. My grandmother passed away a year ago this week, Carter would have been her 6th great grandchild (the 5th boy). She would have gotten a kick out him, she loved babies, always looking at the shape of their heads, she loved C-Section babies because they had perfect shaped heads. If she was still with us, in the state she had been in the last few years of her life she would have laughed at Carter and and just smiled. Writing this bring tears to my eyes, just picturing it and remember her near the 1st anniversary of her passing is a little emotional.

We'll update again after our trip to Connecticut, I think the dogs are looking forward to us giving them some time at home with Chris (our dog/house sitter), give them back their space. -John

Easter Week

We continue to experience new events as family each and everyday. In the last week we have celebrated Easter, had a marathon teething experience, had our 1st night of sleep without waking up, our first restaurant and standing on our own.

The weather has been absolutely spectacular this past week, we actually hit the 90's for a couple of days and had to turn the air conditioning on. Easter Sunday was beautiful and we had a very nice dinner just the 5 of us and we then had a nice visit with Carlos for the first time.

I went back to work this week, since my mom and dad are still here Paige wasn't on her own yet. Everyone came out to Tysons Corner to meet me for lunch one day, our first trip to a restaurant, Carter was sleeping in his stroller when they met up with me and slept for a short time once we were seated. Once he woke up he was a "pro". He sat in a highchair, we had his food warmed in the kitchen and he eat with the rest of us. Afterwards he came by my office to meet everyone.

I think it's only a short period of time before Carter is walking, he has been standing on his own for short periods of time for the past couple of days, he is over being held and wants to be on the ground and moving!! At least he will force us to be more active ourselves.

This will be our last weekend with grammy and papa, they are leaving to go back to Connecticut on Monday. Paige will be on her own for the first time from here on out. Mom and dad have been a huge help over the past couple weeks, making meals, doing laundry and shopping and doing yard work. They really helped make the transition home with an addition much easier for all 3 of us. I think Carter might be a little confused after they leave since they have ben here since he got here but in the long run I think he will be ok since he has adjusted so well to everything else. Paige will also have her 1st overnight this week on her own since have to go to NJ on business, it will also be good practice since I leave for England and Germany the following week on a buy trip. It will also be test for me, leaving my little guy for 1st time. Not seeing that smile of his everyday will be a challenge!

1st Week Home

Sorry we haven't updated much, or at all, this week. Our first week home has gone by with a blur. Paige came down with a stomach bug on Sunday night and was down all day Monday, I came down with it Monday night and was out of commission all day Tuesday and then my mother came down with it and was in bed all day Wednesday and was back up and around for her birthday yesterday (not an April Fool's Day joke). Somehow my dad has escaped it, lucky him. Thankfully, you only have symptoms for 24 hours but you still don't feel well for another 24 hours after.

Carter had his first doctor's appointment on Tuesday and received his 9 month check-up complete with all his vaccinations and boosters. It was all good news, he is on target for a 9 month old and is in the 95th percentile for weight and 91st in height. He's good for another 3 months until his 12 month exam.

Spring has definitely sprung in Northern Virginia this week, it's been 80 degrees the last few days and we have all the windows open and we are enjoying some time outside. Carter got to meet a bunch of the neighbors this week since we had taken a couple walks and some have come over to visit and meet him.

The dogs continue to bond with Carter too, Madison really gets concerned if he's crying for too long and will lay at the foot of whatever chair we are sitting in with him and Preston like to lay as close as possible to protect him ( see photo).

This morning he had his 1st Cheerios! At first he wasn't quite sure what they were all about or what to do. Once he finally picked one up and put it in his mouth it was all over! He loves them! He also had his first picture taken with the Easter Bunny tonight at the Mall. He was so serious for his picture and he was kept turning his head up to look at the bunny, kind of like, "WTF"...

As we get more and more into our routine (figure it out) we'll try to do our best to update more frequently. I know what it's like when you following one of these and you're waiting and waiting for updates, on the flip side I now have a greater understanding for all those adoption journey stories I have been following and why the updates slowed after they returned home with their babies.

Happy Easter everyone! - John

1st Full Day at Home

Right now it's just after midnight and Carter is wide awake and we're watching SNL.

Today was our first full day at home, Paige's Mom & Dad left to go back to Connecticut at about 12:30 since they had committed to sing in the choir tomorrow morning and my parents are still with us for a while longer.

We had our first excursion this afternoon, we all went to Babies R Us to pick up a few things and Grammy & Papa Ross bought Carter an exersaucer (he's loving it right now) and he had his first trip to Wegman's. All-in-all it went pretty well. He slept in his car seat for a little while and really liked being rolled around in a shopping carriage.

I guess day two out of Korea is the day for it all to catch up with Carter not to mention that he is teething. After we got home from our errands he went down for a nap and slept for 5 hours! We woke him after our dinner to feed him and figured if we did not wake him he would be up all night. He ate, he was changed and he fell back to sleep in Paige's arms, he just would not stay up. I guess he officially hit the wall. Now, after his marathon nap session it appears we are up for a while. Paige is feeding him some homemade applesauce and Preston is sitting close by hoping for some spillage.

After his marathon nap I took him up to his room to change his diaper and put on his pj's and I had my 1st pee mishap. He did not get me but he got the changing pad pretty good. It had to happen sooner or later, just happy I didn't get it straight in the face.

One of the things we had been concerned about was how the dogs were going to react to bringing a baby into the house. They have been around plenty of other children over time but all those kids go home. We are happy to report that Preston & Madison have really been good. If Carter cries both dogs get concerned and run to him. If he's sleeping in the baby bjorn in the family room both doges peek over the top to check on him and if we're sitting down holding Carter they will also sit at our feet protecting him. So-far-so good.

With any luck we'll get some sleep in the next few hours. - John

We made it home!!

Our flight home was just under 13 hours, Carter was amazing, he slept for just about half the flight and laughed and played the rest of the time. Paige's mom and dad were at Dulles to meet us when we got thru customs and my parents arrived about 15 minutes after we got home.

The 3 of us are exhausted, we took a 4 hour nap this afternoon and will be going back to bed shortly.

We have turned the ringers off on the phones tonight, just trying to re-adjust so if you don't hear from us tonight just know we are not avoiding you but that we are simply settling into our new life at home on limited sleep.

We will update with more specifics & photos over the weekend. Thank you everyone for you comments and well wishes both here on the blog and Facebook too. - John

Gotcha Day!

As I am typing this Carter is sound to sleep on our bed and housekeeping just delivered the crib.

Today is what is termed "Gotcha Day" in the world of adoption. Our meeting time was set for 11:00 a.m. at SWS. Of course we were wide awake at 4:00 this morning in anticipation. We finally went down to breakfast at about 8:30, we were pretty quiet, I think we were both in shock over what was finally about to happen. After breakfast we finished getting ready, of course we snapped a few times at each other, what husband and wife don't when they are both stressed and anxious, it's human nature.

We timed the shuttle to the Metro pretty good, we only waited a few minutes. At the Metro station we realized that all the single fare cards we had purchased this week had a 500 Won deposit, luckily we still had them all and we netted back 3000 Won (approx. $3). We waited very little time for the train and we arrived at SWS exactly on time, 11:00. The couple we had met on Tuesday from Charlotte were in the room next to us, their "gotcha day" too. Their son Kyle is just about a year old, we may see them at the airport in the morning since their flight is shortly before ours.

Carter was already there with his foster-foster mother and her husband and his original foster father was there too. It was very nice to meet him and it was very clear how much Carter meant to him and his family. Carter needed to see the doctor for his final examination, on Tuesday we were shown a rash on his belly, as it turns out it is eczema. I have, my mom has it, my dad has it, he's a Ross already. We were given some hydrocortizone and an all clear to fly tomorrow.

His foster father gave a bunch of pictures they had take over the past 7 months, some clothes, bottles, formula, diapers and the list goes on. We not only walked out with a baby, we left with 4 large bags of equipment! We were also given Carter's Korean passport and exit permit (EP) and all his immigration paperwork in a sealed envelope with instructions not to open it. It is all in a certain order and they do not want anything out of place when we check in at the airport.

We requested a tour of the infant center, where the babies go after parental rights are surrendered. There 50 to 60 babies here at any given point and nurses and volunteers provide for these children. Part of the fee all families pay is used to help subsidise this program. It was nice to see where carter was cared for between being born and going to his foster family.

At the end all we had to do was sign our names on one single piece of paper, they never asked for ID once, we just signed. I guess they trusted us since we spent almost 2 years in the program. We had so much equipment to take back to the hotel there was no way we were taking the train so they called us a cab. Carter fussed a little bit on the way back since it was way past his nap time, we arrived back at the hotel at 12:30 and he has been napping ever since. A good start to the rest of our lives.

This is the last post from the land of our sons birth, we leave here in the morning, Friday March 26th at 10:25 and this is strange, we arrive back at Washington/Dulles on Friday morning, March 26th at 10:25. A crazy thing that international dateline. We'll post again from home and include more pictures from "gotcha day" and the trip. - John

The Meeting

Hello from the future! It's Wednesday evening here in Seoul, 13 hours ahead of our family and friends back on the east coast United States and we met our son yesterday afternoon for the first time. WOW! Finally! What an experience, but lets catch up first.

Monday we changed hotels form the Hyatt by the airport to the Sheraton Walkerhill in Seoul. It took a little over an hour by bus to get to the hotel, it's not exactly in the middle of it all but I was able to cash in some Starwood points to take care of the stay, one less expense and SWS is only 8 Metro stops away, no big deal.

Before we made our move on Monday our day started with a call to our caseworker at SWS to let her know we had arrived and to see what our schedule would be for the week. She told Paige that for "person reasons" Carter was no longer with his foster family and had been moved over the weekend and to call back after 1:00 to find out when we could meet him. Well Paige looked as if she had seen a ghost when she was relaying what she had just been told, we were at a lost for words, just what does "personal reasons" mean in a situation like this? Had something happened to Carter? Could the foster family just not deal with the fact that they were having to give him up after these 7 months he was in their care? We decided not to dwell on it, like most of this process this was out of our control. We packed up and made the move to the next hotel, our home away from home for the next 5 days.

After we arrived at the Sheraton, unpacked and had some lunch it was time to make a move. Oh, wait, we need to call SWS for our time to meet Carter tomorrow! Paige called our caseworker and she told us to meet her at her office tomorrow afternoon at 1:30, only 24 more hours and we will be meeting our son!! She did tell Paige that the "personal reason" for Carter being moved was because his foster mother's father had passed away. We certainly feel badly for her and her family and at the same time we are relieved that it wasn't something involving the baby.

Now we can make a move. We took the shuttle bus to the Metro and went to a large mall, kind of their version of Mall of America. It's call "Lotte World", it was raining out so we really couldn't go out to explore so the mall seemed like a safe bet. The Metro leaves you off right inside the mall, as you enter the first floor is all specialty foods, the next 5 floors are all woman's clothing and accessories. Retailing in Asia is a lot like it is in Europe, the store is set-up in a circle and each designer has their own little store. I went thru the men's area and the only "American" brands were Hugo Boss, Ralph Lauren & Tommy. The one interesting area in the store is call the "event hall", this is where they set up all of their clearance merchandise in one area. Each category has its own space with a salesperson manning the rack for assistance. Kind of Nordstrom's version of the Rack but within the full line store. One thing we did notice was that as soon as you stopped to look at something anywhere in the store as sales associate was right there at your side, now working for Nordstrom I understand customer service, but I did find this a bit unnerving. After a couple of hours we decided it was time to head back to the hotel, we were walking back to the Metro when Paige saw a Krispy Kream and the light was on!! She had never experienced a fresh, warm doughnut from "KK", she had to come all the way to Seoul, South Korea to have that.

After our "KK" treats it was time to go back and get some rest before dinner, the time/day change was hitting us, we took the Metro back to the bus stop, when we walked out of the Metro Station it was SNOWING!! Boy it was beautiful, big fluffy flakes but were they wet. We had just missed the bus and the next one was in 20 minutes. There wasn't an enclosure so we we just standing there waiting, accumulating snow when this 20 something Korean man walks up to us, hands us his umbrella, says something in Korean, bows and walks away. Paige says there have been Angels all along the way for us, from the random meeting in her office last week with the airlines to this randon act of kindness........

We left the hotel on Tuesday at noon for our 1:30 appointment, we were early. As it turned out SWS is only 6 Metro stops away and not 8, a we were riding this old man insisted that I sit down. He asked us where we were going and we told our story, he looked at out directions and map and told us were on the Right path. Another Angel.........

As I said, we arrived 20 minutes early and we were placed in a waiting room with another couple, they were from Charlotte , North Carolina and had received their referral a few days before us in December and gotten their travel call a few days before us. They left to go meet their son about 5 minutes before us, when our caseworker came for us she told us it would be about an hours drive to where Carter is stay. Hell, its been this long what's another hour right? After almost an hour we arrived in a very modern apartment complex very much resembling an Archstone property back home. Our driver located the building number we need and our caseworker took us to the 18th floor. When the elevator doors open there he was. Our son! His foster-foster mother was waiting in the door with him, of course Paige started to tear up right away, I would expect it any other way. We were able to play with him for about an hour on the living room floor. His foster-foster mother gave us some snack, we were told they were rice cakes, I don't think so. They were green and kind of tasted like spinach, all-in-all they were pretty good, she also cut up some huge apples. She took half the apple and just spooned out some of it and feed it to Carter, he loved it!!

Carter is so happy, he laughed at us, smiled and loves to jump. Our caseworker was very surprised at how social he was with us since he had some trouble adjusting from his foster home to his foster-foster home. As an hour came he was starting to get cranky, it was his nap time. The caseworker told us we could have tomorrow, and we did but the foster-foster mother asked to keep him one more day. We agreed, it would give a day to go sight seeing and shopping. We will go to pick him up on Thursday at 11:00 a.m.. or that's Wednesday night at 10:00 for everyone back home. On the ride back to Seoul it just felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from me, one I had been carrying for some time and that everything was falling into it's rightful place.