John and Paige's Journey to Adoption

GOTCHA Day one year later

2011-03-24T16:41:00.011-04:00

Its hard to believe that it was one year ago today that Carter came into our lives forever. March 25, 2010 around 11:00 AM local Korean time, we were finally able to hold our little boy in our arms knowing we would ALL be going home soon. I still can remember being so scared and excited all at once. Our lives were about to change forever. It had been such a long journey to welcome him to our family, it was really hard to believe it was finally happening. We were about to become parents to the most precious boy ever! We had only meet him for about an hour two days before our 'gotcha day' but he had been in our hearts before we even saw his picture. The picture above is of us, Carter's foster-foster mom and his foster father. They were such loving people, I know it had to have broken their hearts to see him leave. But they also knew he would be well taken care of by us. What a chunk he was huh????

After about an hour or so at the agency we were sent on our way back to our hotel, with tons of gifts for both us and Carter. At the hotel Carter was so tired he took a long nap. After he got up we decided to see what if would feel like to be out as a family. So we got him dressed and went out for a little adventure. He did great!!! Thanks goodness because I'm not sure what we would have done if he was terrified of us. Once we got back to the hotel it was time to start packing and getting ready to leave. We had a very early morning flight which mean we would have to leave the hotel no later the 6 AM!!! It would be less then 24 hours of having Carter and we would be getting on a plane for the next 14 hours. OH MY what were we thinking. But we were very blessed to have such an easy going baby he just went with the flow. I remember he fell asleep even before we took off, what a blessing. He was very good the entire flight and didn't cry once. We were lucky enough to have 3 seats together, having that extra seat was great, it meant that Carter could stretch out and sleep when the time came.

When we arrived in DC my parents were there to bring us home. They were beyond excited to meet their new grandson. We were very happy to have them pick us up and drive us back home. After a little bit of a panic because I couldn't figure out how to get the car seat undone, we were heading back to our house. A few minutes after arriving home to balloons every where John's parents pulled in the driveway. They too were very excited to meet their new grandson.

My parents left the next day, they didn't want to overwhelm Carter with too many new faces at first. One thing you learn during the adoption process is that the babies have a grieving process they go through after leaving the foster parents. Since John's parents were going to be with us for the next 2 weeks helping us adjust, my parents felt it would be best to leave and come back when it wasn't so hectic. Thank goodness for John's parents, they were such a big help while were adjusting to being a family of 3.

I was able to take 12 weeks off of work to be with Carter as he adjusted to his new life. During this time we found out that John was offered a new job that would move us across the country!!!! OMG could things get any crazier? After a lot of talking and crying we decided that he would take the job which meant moving to Seattle, WA. Even though we were very sad to leave our friends in VA we knew this was the right opportunity for John and his career. The good news was we couldn't leave VA until Carter's adoption was finalized. This meant we had the whole summer in VA!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

We finally got word that we could finalize Carter's adoption on September 21, 2010. One day after our 7 year anniversary and 4 days short of our 6 month anniversary of gotcha day. We were now able to move forward with our move across the country. So I gave my 2 weeks notice, called the moving company, made all the arrangement and then packed up and left VA. It was a very sad day but we also knew there would be happiness right around the corner. The day of the finalization we had our parents, both of our brothers and our nieces with us. It was a very special day indeed. FINALLY He was really ours. Well he was always ours but now it was legal and we have the paper to prove it.

The very next day John, the dogs and I got on the road to drive cross country to our new home in Bothell, WA. It took us 4 1/2 days. What a beautiful country we live in. Carter stayed behind with John's parents and my parents were going to fly him out to us. The thought of driving cross country with 2 dogs and a 1 year old did not sound like fun at all. My parents offered to fly him out after we arrived and we quickly took them up on that offer.

We arrived in Bothell, WA on Sunday September 26th, the truck arrived the next day and Carter and my parents arrived on Wednesday. Man we missed him so much, but we were glad that he was able to have some time with both sets of grandparents. My parents stayed about a week and a half to help us get settled in. Boy were they are big help. By the time they left the house was pretty much in order.

The next few months we spent getting acclimated to our new surroundings. John started working in his new office in downtown Seattle and I have been lucky enough to stay home with Carter. I joined a local moms group which has really helped me adjust to my new surroundings. All the women welcomed me with open arms.

We celebrated Carter's first Thanksgiving with my parents, and our good friend Pattie and Jessica. It was a tradition that started with my parents coming to VA the first Thanksgiving we were there and we are very happy that it continues now that we are on the West Coast.

Christmas was great! Carter's first Christmas home. Do you know how difficult it is to find 'Baby's First Christmas' outfits in 18-24 months, pretty difficult let me tell you. But I was able to find something to celebrate this very special holiday. Christmas morning we think Carter was just overwhelmed by the toys under the tree. He just kept saying WOW!!!!! It was a great day!!!!

Half way through February John's parents came to visit for the next month. We had so much fun with them. Carter enjoyed having his Grammie and Papa around. He and Papa chased each other around the kitchen so many times I think there is an indent in the floor now. We also went to Pike's Place Market, the Aquarium, Canada and lots of shopping. It was very sad to have to say goodbye to them after such a fun visit!

And here we are a year later and just as happy as we can be!!!! Carter is the light of our lives! Its so hard to imagine what life was like before him. Today we are so grateful to all the people who were there for us along the journey, from our families to friend to the agency here and in Korea that made it possible for Carter to be home. But mostly we are thankful to his birth mother who knew his home was in a country far away. We love her like she was family even if we don't know who she is.

As I finish this post tonight, I should let you know that we are starting the process again, our application should be in the mail the beginning of next week. As of right now our home study will go to Korea in November. We would like to have a sister for Carter. I don't know much more then that right now. Keep checking back for updates!

XOXOXO,

Paige, John and Carter

Pictures of our first year with Carter!

2011-03-19T11:11:00.003-04:00

Well its been awhile. Thought today was a good day to add a new entry; its Saturday morning and the sun is actually shining here in the Seattle area and it was one year ago today we received our travel call! It was Friday morning and Paige received the call around 9:00 a.m. and by noon we were booked on Korea Air for the next day and our hotel rooms were booked too. Hard to believe that that was a year ago already; Carter is the light in our lives. His smile will melt your heart and when he stops his busy little body for half a minute and climbs into your lap for a quick snuggle you cant help but smile.

Now that we have settled into life as a family we have decided it is time to start the process on #2. We have been in contact with our agency back in Connecticut, they are sending us the application so we get get a slot on the list. Basically we have been told that at this point, our home study will not happen until August and that our packet wont go to Korea until at least November. At least we know what to expect this time! - John

1 Year Ago Tonight.....

2010-12-08T00:01:00.003-05:00

Sorry we have not posted anything since August, so much has happened since then. We packed up our house in VA, traveled to CT and finalized Carter's adoption and then drove cross country to our new life in Washington State. We've been here now for almost 3 months and are getting settled into a new way of life. We will chronicle more detail soon to catch everyone up and include some pictures (our Mac is at Apple for a tune-up and all of our pictures are on it). We are loving every day with Carter!!

It was one year ago tonight that we received our call telling us we had a 5 month old boy being referred to us, his name was San Lee. The e-mail packet followed soon after which include a dozen pictures of a round faced, plump little boy with a serious expression on his face. It was love at first sight for the both of us. The excitement was almost too much knowing it could be up to 5 more months until we could actually hold him in our arms; thankfully it was on 3 months.

A year has gone in a blink of an eye; we're excited to experience our first Christmas together as a family.
We promise to post more before Christmas along with some pictures.

Since June?

2010-08-25T12:19:00.002-04:00

Holy Cow! It's been since June that we posted last. Well, a lot has happened in the past 2 months. Our house in VA is on the market and we traveled to Seattle and purchased a new home. Not to mention, Carter turned a year old (he has had 4, yes 4, birhtday parties). Paiges' parent's stopped in for a quick visit on their way to Texas at the beginning of July and stopped again on their way back at the end of July, we followed them to CT a few days later for Paige's mothers retirment party and one of Carter's 4 birthday parties. My parents were here for one last visit to VA this past weekend and on Monday we received our letter in the mail from the Hartford (CT) Probate Court letting us know that our hearing date to finalize Carter's adoption is on September 21st. This is the day after our anniversary and 5 days short of 6 months that Carter came home with us. Now that we have this confirmed we scheduled the movers to come pack us on 9/16 & 17, once the house is packed we can leave for CT and finalize the adoption and from there begin our drive to Washington state with the dogs. We'll work at getting some pictures up from the summer so everyone can see how big Carter is getting, at last check he was 28 pounds and 32 inches tall! - John

Can't believe its time to go back to work :(

2010-06-09T10:20:00.005-04:00

This is my final week home. It hard to believe that Friday it will be 11 weeks since we brought our precious boy home. It has been such a joy to be home with him as long as I was able to. I feel like he turned a corner a few weeks ago and now really looks at John and me as 'mommy' and 'daddy'. There is just this different look in his eyes, its hard to explain. Those of you with adopted children probably know what I'm talking about. When he sees either one of use he just smiles and beams happiness!!!

He loves to play with this house. The picture above was him and I playing peek-a-boo through the door. One other thing he loves is Sesame Street. I try not to let him watch too much TV but when you have to get things done around the house there is nothing like putting him in his excusaucer and putting an educational show on. This day he just started cracking up at one of little sketches. So I played it over and over again just so I could hear him laugh.

He has also started to really walk. He took his first steps while we were in CT, it was very special that the grandparents were able to see this. Although my dad was on a trip, he did get to see a video of him. He is now all over the place, its rare that he is able to stay in one place for any period of time. On tuesday this week I went to Fair Oaks Mall and we went into their play area there. There is no more put him on the ground and be able to sit for a little while, nope he was all over the place, trying to climb up on thing like the big kids were doing.

We have quite a lot of changes coming up in the very near future. As John mentioned earlier there was a strong possibility that he would be offered a job and we would be moving to Seattle. Well that time has come or will be coming. John was offered a new job and has accepted. He officially starts on June 15th. Usually when things like this happen in his company the employee has to move within about a month. But since we are unable to move until Carter's adoption is finalized we will not be leaving VA until mid-September. We will be able to finalize Carter's adoption in CT which will be very special for all of us since that is where both John and I are from. The main agency (FCA) that works with the agency in Korea is based in CT. Carter just continues to be a blessing in our lives time and time again. If he wasn't here or his adoption already be finalized we would be moving sooner then later. But now we get to spend the entire summer in VA with our friends, and hopefully our families will take advantage of us being so close to DC and come to visit before we go. HEAR THAT FAMILY come visit before we move!!!!!

Carter will be attending a very good daycare. We stopped by on Monday afternoon so he could experience what its like to play with other babies. He did really well, I put him on the floor and he just started playing didn't even notice I was there. Today I will actually drop him off and leave for a little while. I'm sure this will be harder on me then it will on him. Then John and I will both drop him off on Friday and go have some adult time just the 2 of us. It will be the first time since he came home. Saturday night we will also have our first night out. Our good friends the Lopresti's will be watching him as we attend a 40th birthday party . It will be good for us to get out and enjoy each other again. Part of me is looking forward to this and the other part of me knows I will miss Carter so much I'm sure it wont be a very long night at all.

So that's it for now. I'll write again next week after I'm back at work.

We've met lots of People this month....

2010-05-23T20:58:00.011-04:00

I know. I know. It's been a while since we have updated. Life gets pretty busy with an active toddler and you are traveling for work and just trying to keep up with your life. Lots has happened since our last post, we went to Connecticut so Carter could meet the rest of his family, Paige spent her first week alone with Carter when I went to New York and then her second week alone the following week when I went to Seattle and Carter is now walking.

While were in CT our Joanne who is a photographer took some unbelievable pictures of Carter. Joanne has been "Chomping at the bit" to do this for us, she has been there for us for the entire journey, from Paige and I dating, our move to Virginia, our marriage, the IVF process and Carter's adoption. These photos an unbelievable collection photos to be cherished forever, here is the link to Joanne's blog with some of the pictures she took.

http://pictureperfectusa.com/blog/?p=138&preview=true

Last weekend we attend the 1st birthday party for a friend of mine son, Jaime and I used to work together and we have watched as her family has grown over the past several years, first to her marriage to Steve, the birth of their daughter Christie and their son Andrew. Parties at Jaime's are always a great time, her sisters are amazing cooks and her whole family is so welcoming. It was so great to be a part of Andrews 1st birthday since we are planning on a tradition Korean Birthday for Carter's 1st birthday in July. Also last weekend, we had a visit from Paige's best friend Michelle's family. Michelle's parents who live in North Carolina and her sister & niece from Rhode Island were in DC for a few days. It has been some time since we have all seen each other, maybe since Michelle & Toph's wedding and since then Cheryl, Michelle's sister (and her husband Wil) adopted a beautiful little girl from Ethiopia, Astor. Bill, Sue, Cheryl & Astor spent the afternoon with us and we had a great time hanging out on our patio cooking out and catching up.

We've Made it to Connecticut!!

2010-04-30T21:29:00.003-04:00

We took our time this morning getting on the road. The car was packed and Carter had his breakfast so we hit the road at about 9:00 this morning. Go figure we hit traffic on the Capital Beltway in Maryland and that slowed us down about 40 minutes, we had smooth sailing up the NJ Turnpike (Carter even slept just about the whole length), even the GW was open. The Merritt Parkway was a little slow too once we crossed over into Connecticut; all-in-all it wasn't too bad, we arrived at my parents at close to 4:00. We had a nice visit with them, Auntie Dana, Uncle Scott and cousins Jimmy and Kyle. We had some dinner and hung out in the back yard for a bit before heading over to Nana Bainie & Papa Los's house, our home camp for the next few days.

Tomorrow will be a get together here at the Wild's for family & friends to come meet Carter and then we will repeat it again on Sunday at my parent's house. We'll post some pictures and chronicle the events of our trip after we get home. Hopefully Maddie & Preston are enjoying having their house back and having fun with Chris while he stays at the house while we are away.

Have a great weekend. - John

1st Post Placement Visit Done, 2 to Go

2010-04-21T21:21:00.003-04:00

Last week we had our 1st post placement visit with our social worker. She met with us for close to an hour. She wanted to know how we were all adjusting and what we feel is working in our routine and what we feel is not. With one visit behind us we now have two more to go over the next 5 month. Here in Virginia the adoption is not final until 6 months after we return home and have 3 visits from our social worker and they say we are fit parents and the child is happy. Once all that is approved we can go to court and "re-adopt" here in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Once we are able to complete the process we can move on with our lives as a family. We have a lot going on, I have mentioned before in a previous post that my job as I know it will not exist in the very near future, if I want to stay with the company, on the merchant side of the business we will have to relocate to Seattle. Until the re-adoption is final we can not completely move, that is if a job offer comes my way in the new structure.

Last Saturday we attended an Asian Cultural Event in Bethesda, Maryland. It was a Dol celebration for two little boys who are cousins. They graciously invited adopted families to come experience the 1st Birthday Celebration (Dol). It was a great experience and the food was terrific. Later in the day we also attended the 7th birthday party for our friends Andrew and Michelle's son Dylan. It was an Indiana Jones themed party, Andrew created a snake pit in the back yard and hid a treasure for the kids to find. They all had a great time.

Next weekend we are going to head home to Connecticut so Carter can meet the rest of the family. He has already met his grandparents from both sides but he has yet to be introduced to his Aunts and Uncles, Cousins and Great Aunts & Great Uncles and a host of family friends from both sides. My grandmother passed away a year ago this week, Carter would have been her 6th great grandchild (the 5th boy). She would have gotten a kick out him, she loved babies, always looking at the shape of their heads, she loved C-Section babies because they had perfect shaped heads. If she was still with us, in the state she had been in the last few years of her life she would have laughed at Carter and and just smiled. Writing this bring tears to my eyes, just picturing it and remember her near the 1st anniversary of her passing is a little emotional.

We'll update again after our trip to Connecticut, I think the dogs are looking forward to us giving them some time at home with Chris (our dog/house sitter), give them back their space. -John

Easter Week

2010-04-10T08:28:00.006-04:00

We continue to experience new events as family each and everyday. In the last week we have celebrated Easter, had a marathon teething experience, had our 1st night of sleep without waking up, our first restaurant and standing on our own.

The weather has been absolutely spectacular this past week, we actually hit the 90's for a couple of days and had to turn the air conditioning on. Easter Sunday was beautiful and we had a very nice dinner just the 5 of us and we then had a nice visit with Carlos for the first time.

I went back to work this week, since my mom and dad are still here Paige wasn't on her own yet. Everyone came out to Tysons Corner to meet me for lunch one day, our first trip to a restaurant, Carter was sleeping in his stroller when they met up with me and slept for a short time once we were seated. Once he woke up he was a "pro". He sat in a highchair, we had his food warmed in the kitchen and he eat with the rest of us. Afterwards he came by my office to meet everyone.

I think it's only a short period of time before Carter is walking, he has been standing on his own for short periods of time for the past couple of days, he is over being held and wants to be on the ground and moving!! At least he will force us to be more active ourselves.

This will be our last weekend with grammy and papa, they are leaving to go back to Connecticut on Monday. Paige will be on her own for the first time from here on out. Mom and dad have been a huge help over the past couple weeks, making meals, doing laundry and shopping and doing yard work. They really helped make the transition home with an addition much easier for all 3 of us. I think Carter might be a little confused after they leave since they have ben here since he got here but in the long run I think he will be ok since he has adjusted so well to everything else. Paige will also have her 1st overnight this week on her own since have to go to NJ on business, it will also be good practice since I leave for England and Germany the following week on a buy trip. It will also be test for me, leaving my little guy for 1st time. Not seeing that smile of his everyday will be a challenge!

1st Week Home

2010-04-02T21:16:00.003-04:00

Sorry we haven't updated much, or at all, this week. Our first week home has gone by with a blur. Paige came down with a stomach bug on Sunday night and was down all day Monday, I came down with it Monday night and was out of commission all day Tuesday and then my mother came down with it and was in bed all day Wednesday and was back up and around for her birthday yesterday (not an April Fool's Day joke). Somehow my dad has escaped it, lucky him. Thankfully, you only have symptoms for 24 hours but you still don't feel well for another 24 hours after.

Carter had his first doctor's appointment on Tuesday and received his 9 month check-up complete with all his vaccinations and boosters. It was all good news, he is on target for a 9 month old and is in the 95th percentile for weight and 91st in height. He's good for another 3 months until his 12 month exam.

Spring has definitely sprung in Northern Virginia this week, it's been 80 degrees the last few days and we have all the windows open and we are enjoying some time outside. Carter got to meet a bunch of the neighbors this week since we had taken a couple walks and some have come over to visit and meet him.

The dogs continue to bond with Carter too, Madison really gets concerned if he's crying for too long and will lay at the foot of whatever chair we are sitting in with him and Preston like to lay as close as possible to protect him ( see photo).

This morning he had his 1st Cheerios! At first he wasn't quite sure what they were all about or what to do. Once he finally picked one up and put it in his mouth it was all over! He loves them! He also had his first picture taken with the Easter Bunny tonight at the Mall. He was so serious for his picture and he was kept turning his head up to look at the bunny, kind of like, "WTF"...

As we get more and more into our routine (figure it out) we'll try to do our best to update more frequently. I know what it's like when you following one of these and you're waiting and waiting for updates, on the flip side I now have a greater understanding for all those adoption journey stories I have been following and why the updates slowed after they returned home with their babies.

Happy Easter everyone! - John

1st Full Day at Home

2010-03-27T23:54:00.003-04:00

Right now it's just after midnight and Carter is wide awake and we're watching SNL.

Today was our first full day at home, Paige's Mom & Dad left to go back to Connecticut at about 12:30 since they had committed to sing in the choir tomorrow morning and my parents are still with us for a while longer.

We had our first excursion this afternoon, we all went to Babies R Us to pick up a few things and Grammy & Papa Ross bought Carter an exersaucer (he's loving it right now) and he had his first trip to Wegman's. All-in-all it went pretty well. He slept in his car seat for a little while and really liked being rolled around in a shopping carriage.

I guess day two out of Korea is the day for it all to catch up with Carter not to mention that he is teething. After we got home from our errands he went down for a nap and slept for 5 hours! We woke him after our dinner to feed him and figured if we did not wake him he would be up all night. He ate, he was changed and he fell back to sleep in Paige's arms, he just would not stay up. I guess he officially hit the wall. Now, after his marathon nap session it appears we are up for a while. Paige is feeding him some homemade applesauce and Preston is sitting close by hoping for some spillage.

After his marathon nap I took him up to his room to change his diaper and put on his pj's and I had my 1st pee mishap. He did not get me but he got the changing pad pretty good. It had to happen sooner or later, just happy I didn't get it straight in the face.

One of the things we had been concerned about was how the dogs were going to react to bringing a baby into the house. They have been around plenty of other children over time but all those kids go home. We are happy to report that Preston & Madison have really been good. If Carter cries both dogs get concerned and run to him. If he's sleeping in the baby bjorn in the family room both doges peek over the top to check on him and if we're sitting down holding Carter they will also sit at our feet protecting him. So-far-so good.

With any luck we'll get some sleep in the next few hours. - John

We made it home!!

2010-03-26T20:46:00.003-04:00

Our flight home was just under 13 hours, Carter was amazing, he slept for just about half the flight and laughed and played the rest of the time. Paige's mom and dad were at Dulles to meet us when we got thru customs and my parents arrived about 15 minutes after we got home.

The 3 of us are exhausted, we took a 4 hour nap this afternoon and will be going back to bed shortly.

We have turned the ringers off on the phones tonight, just trying to re-adjust so if you don't hear from us tonight just know we are not avoiding you but that we are simply settling into our new life at home on limited sleep.

We will update with more specifics & photos over the weekend. Thank you everyone for you comments and well wishes both here on the blog and Facebook too. - John

Gotcha Day!

2010-03-25T01:17:00.002-04:00

As I am typing this Carter is sound to sleep on our bed and housekeeping just delivered the crib.

Today is what is termed "Gotcha Day" in the world of adoption. Our meeting time was set for 11:00 a.m. at SWS. Of course we were wide awake at 4:00 this morning in anticipation. We finally went down to breakfast at about 8:30, we were pretty quiet, I think we were both in shock over what was finally about to happen. After breakfast we finished getting ready, of course we snapped a few times at each other, what husband and wife don't when they are both stressed and anxious, it's human nature.

We timed the shuttle to the Metro pretty good, we only waited a few minutes. At the Metro station we realized that all the single fare cards we had purchased this week had a 500 Won deposit, luckily we still had them all and we netted back 3000 Won (approx. $3). We waited very little time for the train and we arrived at SWS exactly on time, 11:00. The couple we had met on Tuesday from Charlotte were in the room next to us, their "gotcha day" too. Their son Kyle is just about a year old, we may see them at the airport in the morning since their flight is shortly before ours.

Carter was already there with his foster-foster mother and her husband and his original foster father was there too. It was very nice to meet him and it was very clear how much Carter meant to him and his family. Carter needed to see the doctor for his final examination, on Tuesday we were shown a rash on his belly, as it turns out it is eczema. I have, my mom has it, my dad has it, he's a Ross already. We were given some hydrocortizone and an all clear to fly tomorrow.

His foster father gave a bunch of pictures they had take over the past 7 months, some clothes, bottles, formula, diapers and the list goes on. We not only walked out with a baby, we left with 4 large bags of equipment! We were also given Carter's Korean passport and exit permit (EP) and all his immigration paperwork in a sealed envelope with instructions not to open it. It is all in a certain order and they do not want anything out of place when we check in at the airport.

We requested a tour of the infant center, where the babies go after parental rights are surrendered. There 50 to 60 babies here at any given point and nurses and volunteers provide for these children. Part of the fee all families pay is used to help subsidise this program. It was nice to see where carter was cared for between being born and going to his foster family.

At the end all we had to do was sign our names on one single piece of paper, they never asked for ID once, we just signed. I guess they trusted us since we spent almost 2 years in the program. We had so much equipment to take back to the hotel there was no way we were taking the train so they called us a cab. Carter fussed a little bit on the way back since it was way past his nap time, we arrived back at the hotel at 12:30 and he has been napping ever since. A good start to the rest of our lives.

This is the last post from the land of our sons birth, we leave here in the morning, Friday March 26th at 10:25 and this is strange, we arrive back at Washington/Dulles on Friday morning, March 26th at 10:25. A crazy thing that international dateline. We'll post again from home and include more pictures from "gotcha day" and the trip. - John

The Meeting

2010-03-24T05:36:00.008-04:00

Hello from the future! It's Wednesday evening here in Seoul, 13 hours ahead of our family and friends back on the east coast United States and we met our son yesterday afternoon for the first time. WOW! Finally! What an experience, but lets catch up first.

Monday we changed hotels form the Hyatt by the airport to the Sheraton Walkerhill in Seoul. It took a little over an hour by bus to get to the hotel, it's not exactly in the middle of it all but I was able to cash in some Starwood points to take care of the stay, one less expense and SWS is only 8 Metro stops away, no big deal.

Before we made our move on Monday our day started with a call to our caseworker at SWS to let her know we had arrived and to see what our schedule would be for the week. She told Paige that for "person reasons" Carter was no longer with his foster family and had been moved over the weekend and to call back after 1:00 to find out when we could meet him. Well Paige looked as if she had seen a ghost when she was relaying what she had just been told, we were at a lost for words, just what does "personal reasons" mean in a situation like this? Had something happened to Carter? Could the foster family just not deal with the fact that they were having to give him up after these 7 months he was in their care? We decided not to dwell on it, like most of this process this was out of our control. We packed up and made the move to the next hotel, our home away from home for the next 5 days.

After we arrived at the Sheraton, unpacked and had some lunch it was time to make a move. Oh, wait, we need to call SWS for our time to meet Carter tomorrow! Paige called our caseworker and she told us to meet her at her office tomorrow afternoon at 1:30, only 24 more hours and we will be meeting our son!! She did tell Paige that the "personal reason" for Carter being moved was because his foster mother's father had passed away. We certainly feel badly for her and her family and at the same time we are relieved that it wasn't something involving the baby.

Now we can make a move. We took the shuttle bus to the Metro and went to a large mall, kind of their version of Mall of America. It's call "Lotte World", it was raining out so we really couldn't go out to explore so the mall seemed like a safe bet. The Metro leaves you off right inside the mall, as you enter the first floor is all specialty foods, the next 5 floors are all woman's clothing and accessories. Retailing in Asia is a lot like it is in Europe, the store is set-up in a circle and each designer has their own little store. I went thru the men's area and the only "American" brands were Hugo Boss, Ralph Lauren & Tommy. The one interesting area in the store is call the "event hall", this is where they set up all of their clearance merchandise in one area. Each category has its own space with a salesperson manning the rack for assistance. Kind of Nordstrom's version of the Rack but within the full line store. One thing we did notice was that as soon as you stopped to look at something anywhere in the store as sales associate was right there at your side, now working for Nordstrom I understand customer service, but I did find this a bit unnerving. After a couple of hours we decided it was time to head back to the hotel, we were walking back to the Metro when Paige saw a Krispy Kream and the light was on!! She had never experienced a fresh, warm doughnut from "KK", she had to come all the way to Seoul, South Korea to have that.

After our "KK" treats it was time to go back and get some rest before dinner, the time/day change was hitting us, we took the Metro back to the bus stop, when we walked out of the Metro Station it was SNOWING!! Boy it was beautiful, big fluffy flakes but were they wet. We had just missed the bus and the next one was in 20 minutes. There wasn't an enclosure so we we just standing there waiting, accumulating snow when this 20 something Korean man walks up to us, hands us his umbrella, says something in Korean, bows and walks away. Paige says there have been Angels all along the way for us, from the random meeting in her office last week with the airlines to this randon act of kindness........

We left the hotel on Tuesday at noon for our 1:30 appointment, we were early. As it turned out SWS is only 6 Metro stops away and not 8, a we were riding this old man insisted that I sit down. He asked us where we were going and we told our story, he looked at out directions and map and told us were on the Right path. Another Angel.........

As I said, we arrived 20 minutes early and we were placed in a waiting room with another couple, they were from Charlotte , North Carolina and had received their referral a few days before us in December and gotten their travel call a few days before us. They left to go meet their son about 5 minutes before us, when our caseworker came for us she told us it would be about an hours drive to where Carter is stay. Hell, its been this long what's another hour right? After almost an hour we arrived in a very modern apartment complex very much resembling an Archstone property back home. Our driver located the building number we need and our caseworker took us to the 18th floor. When the elevator doors open there he was. Our son! His foster-foster mother was waiting in the door with him, of course Paige started to tear up right away, I would expect it any other way. We were able to play with him for about an hour on the living room floor. His foster-foster mother gave us some snack, we were told they were rice cakes, I don't think so. They were green and kind of tasted like spinach, all-in-all they were pretty good, she also cut up some huge apples. She took half the apple and just spooned out some of it and feed it to Carter, he loved it!!

Carter is so happy, he laughed at us, smiled and loves to jump. Our caseworker was very surprised at how social he was with us since he had some trouble adjusting from his foster home to his foster-foster home. As an hour came he was starting to get cranky, it was his nap time. The caseworker told us we could have tomorrow, and we did but the foster-foster mother asked to keep him one more day. We agreed, it would give a day to go sight seeing and shopping. We will go to pick him up on Thursday at 11:00 a.m.. or that's Wednesday night at 10:00 for everyone back home. On the ride back to Seoul it just felt as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from me, one I had been carrying for some time and that everything was falling into it's rightful place.

Live from Korea

2010-03-21T05:56:00.001-04:00

We miade it! We are in Korea and just days away from meeting our son Carter. Its bare to believe the time is finally here. This journey has been amazing.

First off please forgive the typo's as I am working on just a few hours of sleep. Its now 7:00 pm local or 6:00 am in DC. So here it goes, I wrote this when we first got to our hotel room.

So let's start from the beginning. Our good friend Michelle picked us up this morning at 9:30. When loading the car Maidosn decided she watned to come along for the trip and jumped in the car with the bags.

When we arived at the ticket counter the mangager came over and said 'oh, we have been expecing you'. John and I were a little caught off guard. Well turns out they were giving a choice of seats, either 1 row by ourselves or an exit row. We choose the exit row as it has more leg room. Then we were handed a complimentary pass to the lounge so we could relax beore our flight. So we had something to eat, and glass of orange juice and just enjoyed our last moments before getting on a plane for 13 and a half hours.

The flight was very nice , our exit row was wonderful, there were not seats in front of us at all and we were right next to the galley. We each had our own TV and watched a couple of movies.

Lunch was either Beef with Wine Sauce or Bibimbab. John got the beef with wine sauce and believe it or not i choose the bibimbap. It came with rice so I knew I couldn't go wrong. it was DELISH!!!! I did not have the seaweed soup, but I did try it.

A couple of hours later we were served 'hot rolls', I tried to find our exactly what the were but i was only told they were 'hot rolls'. Those were very good too.

Dinner was served about an hour after that and both John and I choose to get the chicken as the other dish was shrimp and rice. And anyone that know us knows that John is allerigic and I don't care for shrimp.

We did a rest a little bit on the plane towards the end of the flight. I think we are both running on pure adrenaline at this point. I'm not sure how we are still awake as neither one of us got more then a couple hours of sleep on Friday.

We are currently at the Hyatt right next to the airport and tomorrow morning we will switch to a Sheraton for the rest of the week.

The plan of action righ tnow is this, tomorrow morning we will call SWS (agency in Korea) to find out when we our appointment to meet Carter is. We believe it will be on Tuesday sometime. We will meet with him and his foster family for about an hour then the rest of the day and Wednesday is for us. Thursday we will get him and Friday we fly home.

That's it for now...... more when we can along with pictures!

Bye

Paige and John

FINALLY!!!

2010-03-19T09:51:00.003-04:00

At 8:55 a.m., Friday, March 19th we received the final word we can travel to Seoul to pick-up Carter!!!

On Monday (3/15) we received his SEO # from the NVC, on Tuesday (3/16) his visa was cabled to the US Embassy in Seoul. We have held our breath all week waiting to get this call so we can move one step closer to closing this chapter of our lives and begin the next.

We, I should say Paige, experience some unbelievable luck this week. There was a meeting in her office on Wednesday with the Regional Director of a partner airline they use to provide air freight services. After the meeting they were all talking and Paige showed them Carter's pictures and the Director told his Assistant, "Give her your card. When she receives her call, take care of her." Whatever they can do for us will be greatly appreciated, we're not expecting much but every little bit helps. Even if its just confirmed seats since this is a last minute flight we will be so grateful.

So, Paige is working with the airline as I type to get our flights, once she has that I will work with my Starwood Points to get us a hotel. With any luck we'll be flying tomorrow afternoon.

We will be updating our Facebook pages from Korea as well as this blog so you will be able keep tabs on us and for many of you get your first look at Carter since we will finally be able to post pictures. Stay tuned........

Travel Call!! Well Yes & No....

2010-03-12T17:46:00.002-05:00

What are the lyrics to Carly Simon's song? "Anticipation........Is keepin' me waitin'............'"

As I mentioned in a previous post, we received our I-600A approval on February 22nd and we have been calling the National Visa Center in Dover, New Hampshire twice daily for the past two weeks and nothing had been logged in. On Tuesday of this week Paige sent an e-mail to CIS asking them to please follow-up and see if our information had been sent, on Thursday she received an e-mail saying that our paperwork was being sent that day, overnight via UPS to NVC and they provided a tracking number. Did it really sit for over 2 weeks in Fairfax, VA before an e-mail from Paige moved it along? At the same time Paige was speaking with our case worker at FCA in Connecticut who told her she usually receives travel letters on Thursday & Friday so at the earliest we would hear about our travel approval would be next week. OK, we've waited this long what's another week? "Anticipation......"

This morning we both tracked the UPS movement of our paperwork between Virginia and New Hampshire, at 8:16 it was scanned out of the depot in Manchester, NH for delivery. I went about my usual morning ritual, I visited the sales floor to see what new merchandise came in and then to hit E-bar to get a cup of tea. By the time I got back to my desk my Iphone (I left it on my desk) was beeping with text messages and e-mails, the red message light was lit-up on my office phone and when I logged back onto my computer there were several e-mails from Paige with the subject line "CALL ME!!"

Once I got Paige on the phone she said our case worker at FCA called to say she had received our travel letter from Korea and all they are waiting for is the approval from NVC, we are cleared for travel and Carter is ready to be picked-up!!

At 10:15 this morning our information arrived at NVC in New Hampshire, Paige waited until mid-afternoon to call them to see if we have been logged in, I'm hearing Cary Simon again......"Anticipation......" no dice, not yet!! The Center is open until midnight, we will try again tonight, for every helpful and accommodating person you get at NVC there some who are not so much, we are told that NVC approves Visas within 72 hours of being received so hopefully no later than Tuesday since its now the weekend which means we could be traveling this time next week!!

Now comes the crazy time!! We have to finish getting everything ready this weekend. The electrician is coming tomorrow to install a ceiling fixture in Carter's room, I need to hang the letters spelling his name over is crib and attach the changing pad to the dresser. The mattress needs to be lowered since the delivery men set it up at the highest setting and I am sure there are plenty of thing Paige wants/has to do too. Not to mention getting the house in order for either my parents or my brother, between then someone is coming down to house/dog sit while we are in Korea plus they will be here when we get home to meet their new grandson/nephew depending on who comes to stay. The poor dogs, their lives are about to change forever.......

Update from Korea

2010-03-08T19:02:00.002-05:00

This afternoon at lunch time Paige called me at the office to say we had received an update from FCA. We have been hoping for one for about the past month since we have had no word on Carter's progress since the referral back in December.

We now know that any of the 12 month clothing we have for him will not fit, he weighs 11 kg or 24.25 pounds so we'll need to exchange a few things. He sleeps thru the night (Yeah!!), one surprising thing said he goes down at 10:00 p.m.!! Did I say he sleeps thru the night?..... He has a ton more hair in these pictures than he had in the first set of pictures. They are little blurry since they are in a PDF format, we will be receiving the originals tomorrow via FedEx.

There was a list of all of his developmental milestones, he is right on track and even a little ahead of the curve. There are so many milestones sent to us I wont list them all out here.

Basically we are waiting for Carter's Visa to logged at the National Visa Center, Paige is just about stalking the Visa Center everyday checking to see if the step has finally been completed. This is basically the last step here in the US, the final steps are all completed in Korea. Our hope is to travel sometime this month.

That's the update for today, hopefully our next post will be announcing our travel call. - John

One More Step Closer to Carter

2010-02-26T19:26:00.003-05:00

Hello Everyone. It has been a busy, busy month; Why is it that so much always happens during the shortest month of the year? As I mentioned in my previous post; at the end of January I had a second hip surgery, so far everything has progressed very well. As the calendar changed to February we experienced back-to-back snow storms resulting in 50 inches of snow!! I felt really bad for Paige that I was not able to help her shovel all of that snow but we are very fortunate to have really great neighbors who helped clear it all away.

Over the Valentine's/President's Day weekend we went to Connecticut for Paige's Baby Shower. It was a crazy quick trip; we drove up on Friday afternoon and came back on Sunday. Paige's Mom surprised her with her Aunt Leslie from Florida and she had a great time visiting with her close friends and our families. Everyone was quite generous; our car was packed to the "hilt"; we had to leave a bunch of stuff at her parent's because it wouldn't all fit in our car. The plan was for Bainie to come to the Virginia Shower this weekend and she could bring the rest of the gifts to us ; now the Northeast is getting clobbered by a snow storm so she is not going to make it.

I have spent the past two weeks traveling on business; last week was a planning meeting in Scottsdale with our largest supplier on 2010 initiatives; the weather was amazing, sunny and 80 everyday. Thank goodness we had some downtime by the pool. While I was out there I was able to go check-in on my grandmother who is in a nursing home in Glendale. She has suffered from Alzheimer's for many years and it has been 3 years since I saw her last. I expected that she would not know me; I was surprised at how talkative she was and how happy she appeared to be. I truly expected her to to be non-responsive so to see her happy and talkative allowed me to leave her feeling better than I did when I walked in to see her.

This week was pretty much the opposite to the previous week; meetings in Seattle, not much sun there...... but the end of this trip has taken us one more step closer to Carter.

Today we received in the mail our approval letter for our I-600 from the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. For those of you who have not gone thru this process; the I-600 gives us the approval to bring in a foreign orphan as an immediate family member. This is an major step closer to bring Carter home! What this means is we will more-than-likely receive our travel call in the next 2 weeks!! So now it looks like we are in the "home stretch".

On another note; the furniture is in and it will be delivered next week. Carter's room is ready and just waiting for that furniture so we can put the finishing touches on it and have it ready for his arrival home. - John

2010-02-03T19:13:00.002-05:00

So here we are almost 2 months into the wait for our precious baby boy to come home and it is absolute torture. The holiday’s were great to keep our minds off of the waiting. Christmas was wonderful, it was just John and I in the morning, our last Christmas without our son, then our friend Jenny and her 2 children, Ryan and Ally came over later for dinner. It was a nice relaxing day. John then was very busy with the Nordstrom Half Yearly Sale and I cleaned house getting ready for his parents and our nephews. We had a great visit with them and got to enjoy some sight seeing with them. John has already mentioned this in a previous post.
We did get busy with starting a registry, something I have been dying to do for years now. It was so much fun putting the list of items together for our new little guy. From bedding to blankets, I think we got it covered. We ordered furniture and hope that it comes in before he arrives.;if not we have a pack and play he can sleep in until it does arrive. But he might end up sleeping with us for a little while. It will all really depend on his sleeping situation now. We have read many times that in the Korean culture the babies often sleep in bed with the parents. If this is the case it will be just fine, I wont want to let him far out of my sight anyway. We cleaned out one of the spare rooms the weekend before John’s surgery (more on that later) and the bedding swatches seem to match great so we don’t even have to paint if we don’t want to. Though we are thinking about painting one wall an accent color.
I have 2 showers planned by friends and family, one in CT and one here in VA. I’m very excited to get together with everyone to celebrate the newest addition to the Wild/Ross family.
We have finally decided on a name too, Carter Baine. Carter because we like it and Baine because it was my Papa’s name and my mother’s name is Bainie. It means a lot for us to be able to keep it going in the family.
So John had another surgery last week, they had to take the screws out and replace them with a different device. All went well and now he is home resting. We decided its best to have the surgery before Carter comes home as it would be too difficult to care for 2 guys at one time. Carter needs and will be the center of attention from the moment we get him.
We did find out this week that the Social Services in the State of VA finally has our paperwork. Since we are pre-approved already to have a child placed in our home hopefully all they will have to do is look at our application and put a stamp of approval on it and send it over to CIS. Once CIS has VA’s approval it can take as little as 5-6 business days for them to give us the approval as well. Once we receive the CIS approval they will wire the information to the National Visa center where our sons name will get logged in and back out of the system. When that happens the approval gets sent over to the Embassy in Seoul and our son will go have his Visa interview. I’m not quite sure what they are going to ask him, but hopefully he will babble that his is ready to come to his forever home with us. Once all is stamped approved and Carter is interviewed we will then get the travel call. From what I have read lately the travel call comes approximately 2 weeks after we receive the CIS approval. So please pray that the State of VA and CIS approve our paperwork quickly and it doesn’t sit on someone’s desk for too long collecting dust.
And so we continue to wait, but it will all be worth it in the end. I guess you could consider this my ‘labor’ and I hear once you have your baby in your arms you forget about how much pain you were in while waiting for them to arrive.
I can’t wait to hold him in my arms! - Paige

Lot's Going On

2010-01-28T11:51:00.008-05:00

Hello Everyone. I have some free time for an entry since I am sitting in a hospital room in Baltimore waiting to be discharged. For those of you who have been following us you know my broken hip saga. The final outcome was that the screws began to "back-out" of the bone so the break separated; the specialist I was referred to in Baltimore removed those screws yesterday (all 3 of them, the picture to the left are the actual screws) and replaced them with something called a "Dynamic Hip Screw"(pictured above). So far the pain I was experiencing from the break appears to be gone and that the pain I am feeling is from the actual incision and the muscle the doctor manipulated.

We decided that we would get this done now since the months of February and March are going to be very busy for us; Valentine's Weekend will be Paige's Connecticut Shower hosted by both of our mother's, it is being held at the golf club in Bloomfield which is where we had our wedding pictures taken. Since we started a major chapter in our lives together here we feel it is very fitting to be having the shower there, opening the next chapter of our lives together. Next I have business trips to Scottsdale the week of the 16th and Seattle the week of the 22nd and then Paige's Virginia Shower is being held at River Creek Country Club in Leesburg on the 27th of February hosted by our friends Deb, Michelle, Steph, Jessica & Vickie.

Our I-600 approval and the paper work with the state of Virgina will lead to our travel call which could feasibly come at any time during late February. With all of that as a possibility we feel we are seriously behind the 8-Ball in getting Carter's room ready. Oh ya; did I mention we landed on "Carter Baine"? Yeah!! He has a name!!

Here are some thing we have already done in preparation of our son's arrival to his "Forever Home":

Three weeks ago we registered at "Babies R Us" Paige really enjoyed this and has really enjoyed monitoring the registry on-line to see what has been purchased. Can you image her as a kid at Christmas peeking under the tree or in the back of closets?

We did order the furniture 2 weeks ago; delivery in 6-8 weeks, hopefully it arrives before he does!! (picture above, we picked a dark walnut finish not the light finish in the picture)

This past weekend I did breakdown one of the guestrooms to turn into Carter's room.

We sent off a package of gifts for Carter & his Foster Family. We wrote them a short note thanking them for taking our son into their loving home until we are able to be together, Dan who works with Paige at Panalpina is from Korea was gracious enough to translated the note for us. We also sent Yankee Candles & a couple Washington Redskin T-Shirts and a small photo album with pictures of us, our home and family members.

Paige ordered swatches from the company that make the bedding we registered for; the good news is that the current color of the room (lt. blue) matches!! Limited painting!! We think we are going to change only one wall to an accent color.

So I guess we got a little more accomplished than I thought. It's just being up against a deadline that makes me think there is more to do than there really; throw a surgery and few trips/events in between and my pulse picks up a little bit more.

Counting down the days until Carter comes home........ John

Names

2010-01-05T20:26:00.002-05:00

Paige purchased one of those 100,000 name books a few weeks ago; between the book and Internet searches we think we have narrowed the names down to 2. I keep going back to Carter and the other name is Tyler or Ty for short. Regardless of which name we choose his middle will be Baine which was Paige's grandfathers name and the name he used to name Paige's mother, Bainie.

One of the other names we seriously considered was Jack but if we decide to adopt again and receive a girl I really want to name her Jaclyn after my mom's sister who past away a few years ago at a young age and really meant the world to me. I just couldn't see having Jack & Jackie - to cutsie.

Let us know what you think of Carter Baine or Tyler Baine; we're having a hard time deciding.

John

The "Legals"

2010-01-04T19:42:00.006-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! We had a nice quiet holiday here at home with a visit from my parents and our two nephews. Jimmy is now 13 and Kyle 10; I really can't believe how big they have gotten since we last saw them in April when my grandmother passed away. We took them to Arlington Nation Cemetery, The Natural History Museum and the National Tree on the Ellipse. Today was back to the real world; the holidays are over, back to a 5 day work week.

Two weeks ago we submitted our "acceptance" paperwork to our agency; it was a week before Christmas so we really didn't expect it to move very quickly. Once our agency in North Carolina proof read it they sent it onto Connecticut before it was sent onto Korea. On a side note; the agency in Connecticut is the key to the whole process being the "right one" for us since we are both from Connecticut. Our Case Worker up there lives in Farmington which is right between my hometown and Paige's; therefore, it is only perfect that she be the "in between" person in this process. Usually once the acceptance paperwork is sent off to Korea it usually take 2-3 weeks for the "legals" to arrive. Well; go figure, the legals arrived the same day!

Basically the legals say that SWS approves of the adoption of our son thru FCA pending approval of our I-600 which approves us, by our government to adopt foreign orphan as our child.

So; paperwork is in full swing and once again we wait..........

The Process Continues......

2009-12-12T07:44:00.002-05:00

Friday we met,via phone with the Pediatrician. Dr Mason is a doctor who specializes in International Adoption in Fairfax, Virginia. He reviewed all the medical paperwork and pictures we sent him and can not find any medical reason why we should not accept this referral (like we would even consider not accepting it after seeing his pictures). Our little guy ranks in the 95th percentile for weight and height and the 75th percentile for head circumference.

We would really like to be able to post more information about him (sorry, we haven't landed on a name yet) and pictures; however we have been ask not post information on the blog or Facebook from our Agency. We hope that everyone understands this; one of our neighbors said it best; she and her husband have 3 beautiful children from Korea and have been "in our shoes". She told us "this is his story and someday when he is 8 or 9 or older, he will come to understand it is his information, and the only information he has on his birth family. Please consider who you share his information with, or whether to share it at all. Anyone you share it with will know your son's story before he knows his own, so keep it close."

Hearing this from someone who has been thru this process not once, but three times really drove the point home; we now have to consider the feelings of someone other than ourselves, I suppose this is something that comes with parenthood. Thank you for the words of advice; you really helped us to understand the possible long term effects to a short term objective.

We are so gratefully for everyones well wishes and your excitement for us in our new adventure; we will certainly post whatever info we feel is appropriate as we continue our journey.

A Big Step Closer - Referral is in!

2009-12-07T19:13:00.006-05:00

So I just so happened to be home early this afternoon because I had a doctors appointment and at 4:53 the phone rang and the caller ID flashed a number that was simply listed as North Carolina. My heart skipped a beat, I took a deep breathe and answered the phone. From the other end I heard "John? Do you have a minute?" I heard our social worker say "we have a referral for you". As she went over the particulars she pretty much sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher to me. I did manage to remember the important things like, it's a boy, he's 5 months old and his birthday is 5 days before mine in July. As it turns out our Social Worker had tried to call Paige at work but she was not at her desk and she missed the call. When she saw the missed call on her phone she didn't know what to do. Within minutes I was on the phone to her; she said "Did they call you? What did they want" Oh not much really.... just wanted to chat..... WE HAVE A REFERRAL!!!

We were immediately sent an "E-Packet" with some family history, medical history of our little guy and of course PICTURES. He is adorable, a chubby little guy, just so cute!! We are very early in the referral process; until things are more definite they really don't want us to post too many details or to share too many personal details of the child and his birth family. All of this is so new it just doesn't feel real yet. As the reality of us actually being parents sinks in we will of course share more info as we learn more. We want thank everyone for all of their well wishes over the past 8 months and 27 days that was our referral wait!

8 Months Next Week

2009-11-06T19:27:00.004-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Well; since my last post not much has changed. Paige and I got a long weekend away to New York City a few weekends ago. The weather was so-so, on-and-off rain but we had a great time. We had dinner with a friend of mine from childhood whom I had not seen in over 20 years. She has lived in NYC for sometime and we picked up right where we left off and she and Paige got along famously! We also had dinner with some friends of mine from the vendor community that Saturday night; another fun night. We spent Sunday with Paige's best friend from childhood Michelle and her husband Toph. Brunch at 2:00 p.m. and them we spent the rest of the day going bar-to-bar in their neighborhood watching football.

Paige left for home on Monday and I stayed behind for a week of buy meetings. I figured this would be what it would take to provoke the gods to send us our referral since I was out of town. I wasn't completely off base; we were contacted by the agency about some medical paper work; basically a list of medical conditions we would accept. At the beginning of the process we filled out this same list and we were told that the conditions we initially choose are not conditions any children are currently becoming available with and that we would need to re-do our paperwork. We choose conditions like low birth weight, family history of drug or alcohol issues, diabetes and a few others. Well the following week Paige read on one of the adoption boards that another couple in the program who had to re-do the same paperwork at the same time had received their referral!! Hopefully this means ours is coming really soon!!

On another subject; my healing process is moving along. The doctor seems happy with the progress I've made over the past month. I will have another CT Scan the beginning of December to get a 3-D image of the break to see just how well I am doing. Hopefully it will be the last time; next Tuesday (November 1oth) will be 6 months since I broke my hip and it is also Paige's birthday; number 29 again?........

I feel fine and walk with only a slight limp at this point. I'm still using a cane at the Doctor's request to help the joint heal without full pressure on the joint. All is good though.

The past week has also been a little nerve racking. We were told at work that our division would be restructuring. Our jobs will be the same for up to a year, after that my job will move to Seattle. The fact that I have 4 counterparts around the country doing the same job and there will only be one position is a little scary to me. We're told everyone will still have a job, just a different job and it will be in Seattle. There is no structure as of yet, time will tell and Paige and I will have some serious thinking to do about my career path. I'm reserving judgment/decision making until all the pieces fall into place. Things like this always happen for a reason.

Hopefully our referral is on it's way; wouldn't it be a great Thanksgiving present and a terrific way to start off the holiday season!!

Until next time - John

Still month 7 and waiting......

2009-10-13T20:20:00.002-04:00

Well; like Paige said we are still waiting. She heard yesterday that another couple in the FCA Korea program whose paperwork went over 7 months ago received their referral this week. Hopefully this means ours is soon to come. I have a feeling if it is going to happen it will happen next week; mostly because of Murphy's Law since I will be in New York on business all week. If this is the case oh well; we'll take it whenever it comes!

It's hard to believe the summer is already over; as most of you already know I broke my hip in May and was home until the 1st of August. It was the 1st summer in 12 years I had off. Even though I was injured it was a great summer. Lots of time at the pool; thank you Lospresti family for bringing me along when I could not drive, a few concerts, 2-U (a U2 tribute band), Junk Food & Paul McCartney. Paige had a trip planned to NY in June before I broke my hip and wouldn't go unless someone stayed with me so my parents came from Connecticut to "babysit" me for the weekend. She deserved the time away; to take her mind off the wait for a few days and from waiting on me.

In July I turned 40 and Paige pulled off a surprise dinner; she also surprised me with my parents and my Aunt Barbara & Uncle David from Connecticut. Our friends Ken & Stephanie Reynolds hosted the dinner at their place out in Round Hill, Virginia. They have a great old farmhouse from the late 1760's and it was a beautiful night to have dinner on the patio with such a great close group of friends.

At the end of July I was feeling really good and the doctor gave me the all clear to go back to work the 1st of August. I was able to get back into the grove pretty quickly and I thankfully have two great assistants and an office manager who kept things running smoothly while I was gone. I even traveled to Seattle a week after I returned; I wont lie; it did take a little out of me. The weekend I got back my cousin Elizabeth from Victoria, British Columbia came to visit. It had been a couple of years since we had seen each other; we all took a White House tour and saw some of the monuments. We had a really nice visit. With any luck we'll be able to make it to Old Home week next August in New Brunswick for the Ross Family Reunion with our "little one" and see Elizabeth and everyone else then.

By mid August I started to experience some pain; I had an appointment with the Orthopedic at the end of the month so I waited. Well; as it turns out I had something called "delayed union" or in plain terms - I stopped healing. They don't know why it happens, it just does sometimes. I now have to use a bone growth stimulator to help get the break to heal. At my month follow-up appointment in September the doctor was very please with the newest x-ray and said I am back on track. I am feeling much better now and almost have no limp when I walk.

For the Columbus Day weekend Paige's mom & dad (MIL & FIL) came to visit with our niece's Caitlin & Keira. We had a great weekend with them all and it gave us a glimpse of things to come, It really was fun.

Paige and I are going to NYC this weekend to celebrate our 6th Anniversary (was actually in September) and our possible last trip as a childless couple. We're going to have dinner with a friend of mind from childhood whom I have not seen in over 20 years on Friday, on Saturday we're having dinner with Paige's best friend Michelle and her husband and some other friends of ours and then on Sunday my parents and sister-in-law Dana are going to take the train into NY with our nephews Jimmy & Kyle. The boys have never been to the city before and they are really excited to come meet us, we cant wait either.

Like I said earlier; I stay in NY for the week for market so hopefully that is what it will take to provoke the Gods into sending us our referral. Please, please, please send us our referral; we've been very patient, we've taken each step along the way in stride. I think it's our turn begin a family. Keep your fingers crossed for us and we'll keep you posted.

Still Waiting, and waiting and waiting......

2009-10-06T21:13:00.004-04:00

We are almost at 7 months now. When we first started the process the average wait time was 5-7 months, but over the past few months the wait has increased to 7-9 months. So here we are at 7 months and very ready for the phone to ring already. Though this summer went pretty quickly since there were so many things to do, pool time, John's 40th Birthday, Paige's trip to NYC, but now its like time is standing still. Its been a little bit more difficult to deal with lately, when they warned you about the ups and downs of this process they were not kidding.

One of the coordinators recently was in Korea for a week, just got back yesterday and we are anxiously waiting for an update. Maybe she'll have referrals and maybe she'll just say how great the staff is over there. No one knows right now but I am just ready to know what's going on over there.

So that's it for now, nothing much to report.

I hope everyone had a great summer and those with kids are settle back in to the routines now that school is back.

Nothing yet to report

2009-07-15T21:13:00.004-04:00

well our paperwork has been over for 4 months and 6 days now but who's counting right. the waiting hasn't been too bad yet. After all we have been a little bit pre-occupied with John breaking his hip in early May. For those of you who haven't heard, John was washing the cars in the driveway on May 10 and slipped and more or less did a spilt. Once he was able to breath again from the fall he yelled for me to come outside. Luckily we had the windows open that day and i was able to hear him. After getting him up (sort of) and in the car on to the ER we went. We arrived at approx 3:00 around 6:30 after he had had x-rays and a cat scan to see what the damage was the doctor asked him when his last meal was. NEVER a good sign when you are in the ER, we knew immediately what that meant, Surgery. Turns out when he fell he pop his left hip out of of socket and broke the femoral head. He finally went into surgery around 11:00 pm and got out around 12:30. Hip back in place and 3 pins to hold it together he finally was in a hospital room around 2:30. So obviously not your average 39 year old breaks their hip like that. He had been having problem with his hip are for about a month, his doctor was treating it for soft tissue damage. What the doctors have concluded is that he actually had a small stress fracture probably from running on treadmill at the gym and when he fell the bone was so weak that it pulled out and broke.

John has been home ever since. Its been just over 9 weeks now and he, to say the least is going a bit stir crazy. He can't work until he is 100% weight bearing on his leg. He started PT 2 weeks ago and it is going well. We saw the doctor today and he wants to keep him out 2 more weeks, so our next appointment is July 29. It looks like he'll be out 12 weeks total.

So with all this going on we have been pretty pre-occupied. Which isn't so much of a bad thing when the time has gone by so quickly.

Hopefully the wait wont be too much longer. They expected 6 months so that could mean we are only 2.75 months away now. That's nothing. I think the hardest part is going to be after we get the referral and we have to wait to travel to go get the baby.

Paperwork Recieved!!

2009-04-09T09:41:00.002-04:00

We received word last night that our packet was sent to Korea on March 9th; a whole month went by before we found out. When they said "hurry up and wait" they meant it. They are telling us to expect a referral within 6 mos. of the packet being sent; since a month has already gone by we are now looking at September; and they say once we accept the referral it is approximately another 3-4 mos. until we can travel to pick-up our child. From what Paige has seen on the message boards and adoption discussion groups she belongs to on line it can happen a lot sooner than this but we plan on the far side so we're not "climbing the walls" waiting.

In the meantime; we are reading some of the books they recommend on Korean adoption, we have attended an adoption seminar and spent a great afternoon this past Sunday (4/5) at our friends Jaime and Steve Bae's for a Korean Baby Shower for Jaime. The Korean food Jaime's sister made was unbelievable only outdone by the amount there was of it! The number of family members who were there was incredible and they all made us feel so welcome just as they did 3 years ago for Jaime & Steve's wedding.

Well; that's the update for now. We will let you know more just as soon as we do. - John

In March.....

2009-02-16T17:21:00.003-05:00

so we found out at the end of last week that our program packet will be going over to Korea in March. This means that 5-7 months after that we'll get our referral. It all seems so real again. John thinks we'll get our referral early, I am thinking the longest time so if it comes early that it will be that much better.

So I have this application on my phone where i get a new Korean word to learn everyday. And the day after we found out when the packet would be going over my word of the day was daughter, maybe its a sign.......

hopefully by the end of the summer we'll know what we are having!!!!

Program Packet and I-600

2009-02-10T20:53:00.005-05:00

Well we finally finished our program packet. paperwork wise it was easy, just a few forms to read and sign. A medical checklist of possible conditions we will or will not accept for our future child. the one thing that was holding us back was the classes we have to take. as mentioned before we need 30 education credits before our adoption can be complete. one of the classes we had to take was called With Eyes Wide Open. It touches on all aspect of international adoption and what it might be like for the parents and the child from the time we come home all they way up to teenage years. it goes over questions we'll hear out in public b/c we wont look alike, to questions or child will probably ask us someday, like why Korea, why me? well it was 19 PowerPoint Presentations with about 25 different written assignment to go along with it. but we got it done, it was a little bit time consuming but i know it will be well worth it in the end. so i finally sent it off today to our program coordinator in NC. She had been pushing us for the last couple of weeks to complete it because the agency in CT which sends the packets to Korea once a month was pushing her. Anyway, i hope all of this means that our number is up and our packet will be going over to Korea soon!!!!!! Hopefully I'll know by the end of the week when they expect our packet to go over.

The program packet is really the last step until we get our referral for our baby!

We also received our I-600 approval from the CIS, i have passed this information on to our agency and i believe it will be included in our program packet.

so that's it for now. like i said above hopefully I'll have more information by the end of the week.

so many things at once

2008-12-17T06:39:00.000-05:00

well after nothing really happening since our last post, 3 things have happened in the past week.

1. our home study was sent to the CIS to be matched up with our I-600 application. Great news and another thing to be crossed off the list. We also received our appointment to get our fingerprints done again for this application. Jan. 6th at 8:00 AM in Alexandria, VA.

2. We received our Fee Agreements from our agency and have signed off on them.

3. After signing off on our Fee Agreements, and sending in a payment we will not get our 'Korea Packet'. This will be the information that goes over to Korea. My coordinator tells me it is much of the same information we have pulled already but now it will be in the way SWS wants to see it. So it seems the hard things are over since we have copies of everything we have done so far. Hopefully once we get this packet and send it back we'll find out what number on the list we are to have our paperwork sent over to Korea.

Everything kinda slowed down there for a bit, but now it seems it is picking back up again. I guess that is just the way this process goes. We are excited to be one step closer, it still looks like we'll be home sometime in 2009 with our baby.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Everyone!

3rd and Final Home Study Complete

2008-10-25T06:41:00.000-04:00

We had our final home study visit last Thursday. All went well and our SW will start writing it it up now. There are still a few pieces of information she needs and then she will send it to CAS for review. Once CAS reviews the home study report and we approve it, it will go to CIS and get matched up with our I-600a so we can get a pre-approval to adopt a child from another country. We will have another finger print appointment with the CIS.

Our next step is waiting for our fee arrangement to come from CAS and for us to agree to them ad then we will be sent another packet of information called our 'Korea Packet' We will be required to gather more information that will be sent to Korea once complete and sent up to FAC in CT. We are currently in line to have our paperwork sent over once complete but we just don't know right now what our number is. Packets from FAC are sent to Korea once a month. I imagine we'll be able to find out once we send back our information the approximate date our packet will be sent over. Our agency did tell us that FAC will not hold back our packet if a couple above us is not ready yet, which is good news. After the packet goes over, the wait begins.

So far things have been going rather quickly, I think the hardest part will be waiting for the referal to come in after our packet goes to Korea. We will have to find things to keep us busy durning that time.

We have also started our required 30 credits of education. Once class we are taking on our own which is worth 3 credits and the second class we just completed was given online by CAS. Of course we don't get credit for the class until we turn in our homework, but we'll get that done soon.

Thats it for now

2nd Home Study Complete

2008-10-12T18:38:00.000-04:00

We had our second home study visit last week, it went great! We all meet together for a 1/2 hour and then our Social Worker meet with us one on one. John was first since he had to get to work and then I was next. All in all the visit went very well. We have also started our first adoption class called AdoptPrep. We have only had one class so far and it seems to be an overview of what we will be going through during the process as well as when the child comes home.

Our next and final home study is this Thursday. Our Agency and our SW would like to have everything finalized by Mid-November. so far it looks like we will be able to meet that goal.

We had our 1st Home Study Meeting

2008-09-14T20:12:00.000-04:00

Our Home Study Social Worker made her 1st visit to our house on Tuesday. She needed to document that we have running water with indoor plumbing and electricity; I think we passed that part.

She went over the paper work we had already submitted and what we would need to have finished prior to her writing the Home Study for our dossier; we're hoping the dossier will be complete by the end of the year and off to Korea. In the meantime our checks have been clearing from Homeland Security, Virginia DMV & the Virginia State Police so our backround checks are in full swing!

We only need to meet with the the social worker 2 more times; she lives in Fredricksburg which is an 1 1/2 away, thankfully there is another family in our area she is supporting so we are going to try and piggy back our meetings so we can split the expense.

We leave for vacation later this week so we'll have plenty of time to start reading our educational materials while we're sitting on the beach.

Until next time.....John

Our First Baby Gift

2008-09-04T20:41:00.000-04:00

We got our first baby gifts today. 2 books, one is baby names from around the world, different then most baby name books this one is broke down by country. The other book we received was a Korean/English dictionary. I can't wait to learn some of the language.

Well they are not really for the baby they are more for me and John, but I consider them our first baby gift.

Things are moving along

2008-09-03T20:59:00.000-04:00

We have confirmation from our references that they have received their letters and have begun to work on them.

We also got our education packet in the mail this weekend. Our agency requires 30 credit hours of education before we can submit our paperwork to Korea. This can be done online, via the CAS website and also by reading books on adoption. We even get 2 credits for reading adult books and 1 credit per every 2 children books we read. So it looks like that will be pretty easy to complete. Korea does require 2 courses which we will be able to get through the CAS website.

We also have our first home study appointment with our social worker on Tuesday morning. She will come to our house which works out great because actually seeing out house if one of the things the social worker must do before completing her portion of the home study. The rest of the process lays with the different government agencies. Hopefully our request will not end up on someones desk for a while before running the required checks on each of us.

On to the next step

2008-08-28T20:26:00.001-04:00

We got a call today that we have been assigned a social worker to complete our home study. Hopefully she will call soon so that we are able to start setting up appointments with her. We also will be receiving our education packet in the mail. Our agency requires their parents to complete 30 hours of adoption and parenting education, most agencies require 15 hours. I'm not sure just yet what classes are to be taken, I'm sure the packet will have that information.

So one more step started, if we keep going at this rate it is very possibly that our paperwork can be completed and sent over to Korea by the end of 2008.

The Home Study History is back in the mail

2008-08-23T14:25:00.000-04:00

We finally finished our first set of paperwork. We wrote our autobiography's, signed, signed, and signed our names again and again. We got our first set of finger prints done, that was so simple it is all computerized now and so there were no messy fingers after we were done. We also filled out another application with Family & Children Agency based in Norwalk, CT so we can get a place in line so to speak. FCA partners with CAS and the Social Welfare Society in Korea to help place children in the US. FCA has placed over 2,000 children around the country since 1982.

We also applied to the Government a I-600a form which is a pre-application to adopt a international orphan. This will help speed up the paperwork next year after we receive our referral.

I think the next step will be starting our home study, which will include meeting with a social worker at least 4 times. 3 times we will meet her and 1 time she will come to our house. CAS will also start running all of our background checks.

That's it for now............until next time

Well Monday Came and went

2008-08-05T19:36:00.000-04:00

my original goal of turning in the paperwork on monday was not so successful. One thing holding us back right now is John's birth certificate which we can get in CT, and we just so happen to be leaving for CT on thursday. So instead of calling town hall, and having them mail the birth certificates which would probably arrive after we left anyways we decided to just get it while we are up there. We do have the majority of the paperwork filled out, i still need to work on my autobiography but i have a 6 hour car ride to work on that. I'm one of the lucky ones who can work on things, and read in the car. We also got our finger prints done on friday afternoon, that was a pretty simple process. No more ink, its all digital now! We went to the local sheriff's office here and we were in and out in less then 20 minutes.

That's all the update we have for now

******************************************************************************

We are heading up to CT this weekend to celebrate my second nieces 1st birthday, the party will be at my mom's house and i am so excited to see everyone again.

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The packet arrived

2008-07-30T20:50:00.000-04:00

And here starts the real beginning of the hurry up and wait part we have been hearing so much about since we made the decision and have been talking to other family's about the process. The first stack is not too bad called "The Homestudy History", at lot of background stuff on each of us, we have to do fingerprints, driving records, criminal background, and so much more. I'll have to put the entire list online. The one thing we have to get done is autobiography's, man i feel like I'm in school again and i have this major deadline to get my paper done and I haven't even started yet. But I'll just do it piece by piece and it will all come together.

Once we get the Homestudy History back to CAS they will then assign us a Social Worker to complete our homestudy. The only thing I know about the home study right now is that we meet at least 4 times, 3 times we meet with the SW and 1 time the SW comes to our house.

My goal is to have everything completed and back to the agency by Monday, that's my goal lets now see what happens.

Until next time.........

2008-07-23T21:51:00.001-04:00

So we sent the a message out today today to tell people that we are about to start the adoption process, and I must say that the response we have received back has been incredible. All of you all out there are great and I know with the love, support and prayers we are getting from across the world we will be able to get through this.

We should be getting or packet of information and the start of the paperwork by Friday.

Stay tuned for more........

It is officially official!!!!!

2008-07-21T21:09:00.000-04:00

Its officially official now, we received the phone call on Thursday to let us know that we have been accepted in to the Korea program with CAS. They are sending us our packet of information along with the first part of the paperwork we will start filling out.

We are so excited to start the process now :o)

More to come as soon as we get the packet and have a better understanding as to what we need to do next.

It has been 3 weeks and no word

2008-07-15T06:44:00.000-04:00

so week 3 is upon us, we are hoping to hear something on Monday as that will be 3 weeks to the day Paige got confirmation that CAS received our application and they would be in touch in 2-3 weeks. We have to remember that they work Monday - Thursday and there was also a Holiday weekend in there so, most likely Paige will call on Monday to find out the status, inside she is going nuts!

July 11, 2008

10 years ago tonight Paige went to the Westfarms Mall in Farmington, CT to have dinner with a friend on her way to dinner she passed John Ross who she used to work with at Nordstrom and secretly had a crush on too! Thinking no more then saying hello to an old friend in the hallway she and her friend went on to eat their dinner. As Paige was leaving Nordstrom that night who but John Ross walks by her and her friends and asked them if they had any plans that evening. Paige said no, but would like to meet me for a drink later when you get off of work. John agreed and asked her to meet him at 10:00 that night. They went to Friday down the street (which is no loner there) and had a few drinks. Well that date turned in to another date the next week, they went to go see "There is Something About Mary" that date lead to 10 years later, married and hopefully adopting a cute Korean Baby soon (if you consider a year and a half soon).

2008-07-06T10:17:00.000-04:00

After 4 1/2 years of trying to start a family naturally and through IVF John and Paige have decided to bring a child in to their hearts and lives though the wonderful gift of Adoption. Our journey to have a family started the day we got married September 20, 2003. We had been together for 5 years when we got married and wanted to start having a family right away. Unfortunately it was that easy as we are amongst the "One in four couples in the US have to go through some sort of treatment to have a baby" and so after one year of naturally trying, though how natural can it get when you are taking your temperature and counting days, and well that's enough our parents are reading this :o) and 3 1/2 years of IVF treatments we have realized that Adoption is what we supposed to do. It has been years of heartaches but it has only made us stronger and I truly believe that our child is out there waiting for us to bring him or her home. So after a lot of soul searching and discussing the different options of adoption first domestic or international. We choose international, then you have to decide from which country you would like to apply for and our choice is Korea, when we picture ourselves with an adopted child the child has always been of Asian decent. And it just so happens that Paige's sisters-in-law, sister is adopted from Korea. Korea and Vietnam are the longest running programs in the US; at the time of our decision Vietnam was on hold and not accepting new applications.

Friday June 20, 2008 Today we put the application in the mail. It took us over a month to find the right agency to use. After talking and emailing families we finally decided on using Carolina Adoption Services. They are based in Raleigh, NC and have an office in Roanoke, VA called ABC Adoptions. I knew right from the beginning of finding an agency that they would be the one we went with but I had to make sure. Every family that I was in contact with who used CAS spoke very highly of them, one family adopted 2 children from Russia with them and she said if they had the money to do it again they would in a heartbeat! I thought that spoke very well of them.

Monday June 23, 2008 We received confirmation today that CAS received our application and it is being reviewed and that we will be contacted in 2-3 weeks.

Tuesday June 24, 2008 It has only been one day since the confirmation and Paige is already going CRAZY!!! Here starts paperwork/wait/paperwork/wait and so our lives will be as we continue this journey.

Monday June 30 2008 One week down! 1-2 more weeks to go to find out if we get accepted in to the Korea program.